


Little voice of Love

by Pinklady5751



Category: iCarly
Genre: Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-04-25
Updated: 2010-06-23
Packaged: 2013-12-21 10:17:14
Rating: T
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,183
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5924146/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2135364/Pinklady5751
Summary: Sam loves Freddie but never got the chance to tell him because he is to in love with Carly. Freddie loves Sam and was just using Carly to make her jelous. There is a communication problem going on between the two. Inspired by Sara bareilles' music.





	1. Chapter 1 one sweet love

Little Voice of Love

**A/n: This is a seddie story based on the songs of Sara Bareilles in her CD little voice. It shows the ups and downs of Sam and Freddie's relationship. **

**Chapter one: one sweet love**

**Disclaimer: My name is not Dan my name is Paige. I am not a middle age producer dude I am a teenage fanfic writer chick. I DO NOT OWN SARA BAREILLIES OR ICARLY, OK PEOPLE.**

Wind rushed around me. Thoughts spun in my head. Raindrops streaked my windshield like tears. Blurring colors and memories. "Just get out of here. Get out of my room. Get out of my apartment. Get out of Seattle. Get out of my life!" The harshness of the voice was imprinted in my memory forever. It was Freddie's voice. Then pain in relization was worse then the first time he broke my heart. I knew I could never go back.

I was nine years old the day I met Freddie Benson. It was a regular summer Seattle day. It was warm and plenty of muggers and hobos were on loose. I was looking out beyond the observation deck of the space needle at all the tall buildings and when I got bored looking at that side of seattle I would move to the side with the waterfront or the side with the mountains in the distance includind Mt. Rainier. As I looked through the telescope I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a boy about my age smiling at me.

"Will you stop smiling? You look like a major dork when you smile like that you know"

The boy ignored my rudness and continued to smile "My name is Freddie. I just moved here."

"Oh, I'm Samantha"

"Can I look through the telescope?" The boy said pointing to the telescope.

"Go ahead I've seen so much Seattle that I could tell you what street I'm on blind folded." The boy looked throught the telescope but continued to talk to me while he discovered the secrets of seattle.

"I think I will go to your school when school starts again"

"Ridgeway?"

"Yep"

"Cool."

"Don't you just love seattle?"

"Yeah it's awesome. Maybe I can show you around sometime"

"Sounds cool" The boy said moving from the telescope.

"You know what my favorite thing about Seattle at night is?"

"What?" he asked.

I began looking throught the telescope again."The thrill you get from knowing that you might get mugged in a dark alley at any time." He was silent for a minute so I looked from the telescope again to find him giving a scarred creeped out look. I burst into laughter. He actually was gullible enough to believe me. After a few seconds of confusion Freddie realised I was joking and joined in on the laughter. After a while we were rolling on the floor laughing even though it wasn't really _that_ funny.

**2 years later**

"Hey sammantha" he said with a big kiddish grin.

I gave a smile in return and he just grinned bigger.

"Can I walk you home after school again?" _Does he really have to ask anymore?_

"Sure Freddie, but only if you carry my backpack"

"Like always" he laughed and I felt like I was on a cloud. Nothing else mattered when I was with him. It was magic.

This was when we were only young kids and I had not yet become the Sam that you know now. Not only were Freddie and I best friends but he also had a major crush on me like the one that most people know as the crush he has on Carly. Back then I kind of liked his puppy crush. I loved having him love me. One day I relized I felt the same way toward him but I was to late.

"Freddie are you ready to walk me home?" I asked excited that I would finally tell him.

"Sorry I'm walking Carly home" He said looking distracted and distant.

"Oh" My smile left and so did my excitement. I watched as he left the school with Carly, carrying her backpack and looking at her longingly the way he had to me so many times before. That was the day he broke my heart and I became Sam Puckett the tough girl.

"Who is taking you to the dance on Friday?" I asked Carly in history class as I turned around to face her. She grinned up from her notes that she had been busily taking.

"Oh no one just Griffen" she replied as if it was no big deal but her excitement wasn't hidden very well.

"Griffen?" I asked confused thinking about the reason they broke up and the whole pee wee babies problem.

"Well after dating Shane when he got out of the hospital I relized that Griffen's creepy obsession was nothing compared to Shane's"

"Why didn't you tell me that you and shane hooked up after he was out of the hospital?"

"Well not only did I think you were still crushing on him but I also tried to block him out of my memory because of his obsession"

"Why? What was his creepy obsession?" I asked getting more curious but acting like I didn't really care. Carly looked around to make sure no one could hear.

"I was getting ready for a date with him and he came early so I told him to wait in my room while I got my coat in the coat closet. But when I came back he was wearing a dress out of my closet!" My mouth dropped. Who would have known Shane was one to dress in girls clothes. Not even Gibbys do something as weird as that.

"That's… majorlly messed up" Was all I could choke out as I thought of how I could have possibly liked him.

"I kicked him out of our apartment so fast that he never got a chance to change and so he still has my dress." Carly sighed and I rolled my eyes. _She cares way to much then she should about clothes. It's funny that she is even my best friend, we are so different._

"Carly it's only a dress. Your so melodramatic."

"But it was special because I saved it aspecially for this dance." She began doodling Mrs. Carly Masters on the margins of her notes. I smiled._ At least Carly has a date with someone for the dance._

"What about you, Do you have a date?" Carly asked as if she read my mind.

"No and I personally don't give damn" Carly flinched when I sweared.

"Sam don't swear!" I rolled my eyes. Carly has been trying to make me a better person by forbiding me to swear, steal, or any other Sam like behaivor. Trust me it's hard.

"Sorry Carls I forgot." She rolled her bell rang and I jumped out of my seat and dashed out of the classroom quickly. As I ran I ran into a certain nerd who broke my heart.

"Ouch!" Freddie yelled out.

"Sorry freddorkus I don't know how I could have avoided your big head." He rolled his eyes.

"So you got a date to the dance?" he asked.

"No" I couldn't help but seem disappointed when I said it this time.

"Well I wondering if…"

"If?…"

"If maybe you would do something for me" I got extremely excited all of a sudden like I did when I almost told him I love him back when we were kids. Except this time he was going to tell me first.

"What do you want?"

"Can you find out if Carly will go to the dance with me?" My heart sunk again.

"I'll ask her but there is no way she'll say yes." I said

"Oh" he says gloomily. It will always be like this I love him, he loves Carly, and he will never love me back.

**Freddie POV**

What was the point of liking Carly? At first it was to make Sam jellous. Then it was because I thought I loved Carly. Now I think I'm just denying my feelings for Sam.

I already gave my heart away back when I was nine and I never really got it back.

Just about the time the shadows call  
I undress my mind and dare you to follow  
Paint a portrait of my mystery  
Only close my eyes and you are here with me  
A nameless face to think I see  
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone  
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of  
My own devices....  
Could I be wrong?

_[CHORUS]_  
The time that I've taken  
I pray is not wasted  
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me  
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share  
You take more than just my sanity  
You take my reason not to care.  
No ordinary wings I'll need  
The sky itself will carry me back to you  
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up  
The moon for you  
Just come down soon

_[CHORUS]_  
The time that I've taken  
I pray is not wasted  
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?  
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking  
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of  
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on  
The southern rain  
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything  
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,  
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.  
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's  
Suicide...oh I wish I knew

_[CHORUS]_  
The time that I've taken  
I pray is not wasted  
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?  
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking  
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of  
One sweet love.

**A/N: So Sam loves Freddie but never got the chance to tell him because he is to in love with Carly. Freddie loves Sam and was just using Carly to make her jelous. ****Basically there is a communication problem going on between the two. **

**Any ideas for the story? Private message me. Hope you liked:D REVIEW FOR UPDATE **


	2. Chapter 2 morningside

**Freddie's POV**

I stared blankly at the front of the room as Mrs. Briggs gave us a lecture about why she hates bright colors. Doesn't she know we could care less? I turn my head to the right to stare down the time and it seems the more I stare the slower the time goes by. Glancing around the room, I smile as I see Carly quickly jotting down notes as if each word Mrs. Briggs said was extremely important. Continuing to look around, my eyes fall upon Sam. She had a smirk on her face and she was doodling something into a journal. I start feeling my eyes locked on her beautiful gold curls and I can't look away. A little voice starts speaking up in my mind.

_**Freddie ask her out to the dance**_

_No, why would I do that?!_

_**Because you love her**_

_What, I do not!_

_**Do to**_

_No_

_**Don't lie to me I know you do!**__  
_

_Ok I don't even know why I am fighting with you! Uh me. I don't know why I am fighting with myself just leave me alone!_

_**No, why do you deny your love!**_

_Because she'll never love me back_

_**YES SHE WILL, ASK HER OUT!**_

"FINE I WILL ASK HER OUT!! JUST QUIT SCREAMING AT ME!!!!" I screamed.

Everyone in the classroom was staring at me, even Sam had stopped doodling and was now holding back a laugh.

"Hey dorkwad you realize you just screamed that out loud." Sam said still chocking back the laugh.

"Damn it!" I yelled and then realized I had just sworn In the middle of class.

I hang out with Sam to much and this is what I get for it. Mrs. Briggs glared at me.

"Freddie to the priciples office!"

"What!"

"You heard me! NOW!" I hung my head and slowly walked towards the door. Carly shot me a pityful look and I gave her a brief smile. As I passed Sam's desk she smirked.

"Hey Freddirty mouth Benson, I guess your mom will have to wash your mouth out with soap"

"Haha really funny" I said sarcasticly. I was about to countinue to the door when I noticed Sam's journal open on the desk with the doodle in it.

"Oh I think you should see this"

"See what?! I told you to go to….." trailed off when she saw the drawing. It was a drawing of the classroom and was at the front of the class bending over after she had dropped her pencil. Sam is in the class and she is pointing at with a speech bubble over her head that said 'hey class look at Briggs' fat ass!'

"SAM PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE NOW!!!!" Mrs. Briggs screamed.

"yeah, yeah I now"

"But first hand me that journal" Sam looked at her journal then back at .

"but-"

"HAND IT TO ME!!!"

Sam sighed and handed it to her. I grabbed Sam's arm and dragged her with me to the principles office.

"Freddie I need that diary!" Sam fought back my arm.

"That was a diary?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah I write in it all the time and it has my deepest secrets in it. You don't want to know what would happen if read them. She could distroy my entire life." Sam said in a serious tone. I couldn't imagine Sam with a diary, it wasn't like her.

"Don't worry we'll get it back "

"If you do find it you better not read it!"

"I won't Sam, I promise" we smiled at each until we got called into the office by

Mr. Franklin's assistant. Sam had a look of nervousness as we walked in and took a seat in front of 's desk even though this type of thing happens everyday for her.

"Detention." said Ted.

"WHAT!" we yelled together.

"Just don't do it again" ted said

Sam and I walked to Carly's after we served a seemingly long detention. I had time to think in that two hours and decided to ask Sam to the dance to avoid another incounter in the middle of class with that voice in my head. _I think I'm going crazy_. I took my phone out of my pocket and began texting Carly.

Freddie: hey

Carly: hey how wuz detention

Freddie: suckish

Carly: so I hear

Freddie: I know this sounds insane but I think I'm going to ask Sam to the dance when get there.

Carly: OMG seriously!

Freddie: yeah don't make me change my mind

Carly: Sorry I'm just glad you gave up on me

Freddie: Yeah anyway when I get there leave the room and go upstaires so we can be alone

Carly: gottcha

Sam's POV

"Um Carly don't you have something to do upstairs?" Freddie asked

"No I don't have anything to do" Carly replied confused. Freddie nodded to the stairs And after a while Carly caught on.

"Oh yeah _that_ thing I have to do upstairs" Carly got up from between Freddie and I and walked upstaires leaving us alone on the couch.

"So…." Freddie says

"So…"

"You know I was wondering if you…" Freddie started but trailed off.

"I asked carly and she said no"

"No actually I wanted to see if you…"

"If I'd what? Ask another girl out for you?"

"No I actually I was wondering if maybe you'd…you know"

"I _don't_ know Freddie so maybe if there's something you want to say you should go out and say it." I said trying to get him to spit out whatever he wanted to say.

"Well I wondered if you…" Freddie trailed off again.

"Oh for godsake Freddie, Just ask her out already!" Carly yelled from upstaires. I tried not to laugh and Freddie blushed.

"Yeah thanks a lot Carls" Freddie said sarcasticly.

"Your welcome Freddo" She yelled out.

I didn't know what to say. Why is he asking _me_ out? Suddenly it hits me. He is asking me out because no other girl will say yes. Is that the only reason he is asking me out? Just because he wants someone to love him and he doesn't care who gives it to him.

"No" I say.

"Why not?"

"Because I would never date a dork like you." I said but didn't mean it. I couldn't help being mean to him. He broke my heart and that changed me.

Freddie's POV

LATER THAT NIGHT

I thought about what she had said earlier and realized it was the Sam side of her. I love her but I only love Samantha side of her not the Sam side. Samantha was goofy, fun, cool, outgoing, amazing, and had a heart unlike Sam. They were the same girl and yet they were a completely different girl. I hoped that one day the Samantha side may shine through. But even when it did it was only for a brief moment and then the Sam side would take over and cause hurt. I hated how Sam would treat me and would usually hurt her back. She brought out my bad side.

I'm not scared of you now  
Or so i say  
There's no reason to run  
Although i may  
I'm not as sure as i seem  
This much i know  
What does it mean you leave and i follow

I could try to forget what you do when i let you get  
Through to me but then you do it over again  
I could rage like a fire and you'd bring rain i desire  
Til you get to me on my morningside

Keep my distance i tried  
No use  
But no matter the miles  
I'm back to you

I could try to forget what you do when i let you get  
Through to me but then you do it over again  
I could rage like a fire and you'd bring rain i desire  
Til you get to me on my morningside

Let me down you say never baby blues don't you ever  
I'm used to being one with the misfortune to find  
Afternoons run for cover and full moons just wonder  
What it looks like here on my morningside

Look back don't you dare let me start to do that  
I don't care if the things that i have  
Only make me afraid to lose i  
Need to let go  
Need to want to keep letting you know  
That we both have a reason to follow  
Long as we let this lead i'm barely breathing

I try to forget what you do to me but then you do it over again  
I could rage like a fire and you'd bring rain  
Til you get to me on my morningside

Let me down you say never baby blues don't you ever  
I'm used to being one with the misfortune to find  
Afternoons run for cover and full moons just wonder  
What it looks like here on my morningside

I was listening to the radio and thinking about Sam just before bed and Suddenly got an idea about how to get the Samantha side out of Sam.


	3. Chapter 3 a diary and a dance

**Authors note: Hey peeps. D: I've been dangerously depressed lately and i'm sorry that it has taken me a while to update. I truely apologize for my absence. A lot has been happening in my life and it is really hard for me to take right now. I would love to tell you all about it because it makes me feel better but i don't to bore the few readers i am blessed enough to have. Luckily being depressed makes it easier to write a sad love story. It will become kind of sad in future chapters. I might make a seddie story about all that i have had to deal with in the past month including meltdowns, fighting with friends, BFFs who could be secretly dating your crush behind your back, annoying grandma, bad grades, anxiety, very low self esteem, bullies, mean teachers, and parents that hate me. Please review and stuffs. ):**

**Sam's POV**

THE NEXT NIGHT

"I can't reach the window, give me a boost" I whisper yelled down to Freddie.

"I can't I'm holding the ladder"

"Then let go of the lader!"

"No, it could become unstable and fall over"

"God your so frusterating sometimes!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried"

"You should be worried about what I'd do to you if you didn't let go and give me a boost!"

"Fine, but your wrong and I hope you remember that I was right after you fall! But wait, you might not remember _anything_ after you fall!"

"Shut up already and give me a boost!!!!" Freddie sighed and climbed up the ladder slowly.

"Can you please just hurry up" I said sounding even more annoyed.

I know your probably wondering what the heck I'm doing. Well, it's 10:00 pm and I'm on the top of a very tall ladder trying to reach a second story window of my school, with Freddie beneath me. If you are wondering why I'm doing this it's because I need to find my diary in classroom. Ok, now your probably wondering why the diary is _that_ important. Well it's not but Freddie _is_ and he offered to help and I want to spend time with him. I want to spend time with him because I love him. Why do I love him? Well stop asking me stupid questions!

"I'm here" Freddie had just reached me at the top of the ladder. He put his hands on my waist and lifted me up to the window as I picked the lock. The ladder suddenly started to wobble side to side and neither of us moved. I felt freddie's arms wrap tightly around me just before the ladder fell. We landed on the hard ground and then rolled down a small hill.

"Are you ok?" I asked urgently since he hit the ground first, cousioning my fall. "Freddie!"

"That was… AWESOME!" he said with a grin. "I wanna do it again!"

"Oh your such an idiot" I joked as I smiled and rolled my eyes.

We set up the ladder again and climbed up to the window. It had been successfully unlocked. I climbed in the classroom and Freddie followed, close behind me.

"Ok, search the closet and I'll search the desk, we must find the diary" I said to Freddie and he nodded. We searched through drawers full of papers for about 40 minutes till we gave up looking.

"Well that was a waste of time." I said.

"We'll find it eventually."

"Maybe" I said with a sigh.

We closed the drawers and organized everything to the way we found it. Then we climbed out of the window and back down the ladder.

"I'm sorry I couldn't find it."

"Well you should have, you were the one that got it confinscated in the first place!" I snapped.

Freddie looked hurt when I said this to him. Why did I always have to say mean things like that to such inocent people? It was like yelling at a puppy for stealing your sock just because he wanted to play tug-o-war with you. But he broke my heart. Was that inocent?

"I have to go, Bye" I said and made my way to my car. Freddie looked down at his feet and began to walk in the direction of his apartment building. I slowly drove next to him and rolled down my window.

"Hey" I said. Freddie looked up at me with confusion.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I'ts really stupid to walk on the streets of Seattle at this late at night, maybe I could give you a ride."

"Sure, I still remember what ypu said when we first met" I smiled and he did to. He hopped in the seat next to me and closed the car door.

"Um… I was wondering if you changed your idea about the dance, maybe?" I turned to look at him and melted in his brown eyes.

"I guess I could go…" I said in a daze. We had reached his apartment building.

"Really? Great! I'll pick you up at 8:00" he said and jumped out of the car, so fast I couldn't even reply.

"What did I do?" I asked myself out loud. He doesn't really love _me_. But I love him and I guess I gave in.

**Freddie POV**

My plan worked. I got Sam to become Samantha for me so I could ask her out by spending time with her. Now all I have to do is make her jellous like I did when we were kids and maybe she will start to like me even as Sam.

**Sam's POV**

THE DANCE

It was the night of the dance and I had to dress up fancy for Freddie. Carly had done my make up and my hair. My dress was a gold holter dress that flowed down to my knees. Carly's dress was a short bubble dress that had a light powder pink color. At the bottom rim of the dress were sparkling fushia polka dots gathered close to gether and as you go up the dress the polka dots were spaced futher and further apart until there were none at the top.

"Woah…" was all freddie could say as we walked down the stairs of the loft.

"I LOVE how you look! It's breathe taking!" Freddie said looking mostly at Carly.

"Thank you Freddie" Carly said sweetly

"Yeah thanks whatever." I said angry at the way he keeps staring at Carly and not me.

"The only reason I'm wearing it is because Carly made me." Was my excuse. But Freddie just kept staring at Carly.

"Are we ready to go?" Carly asked.

"Yep" Freddie and I said simoultanously.

Freddie drove us to the dance and the entire way I was angry with myself for saying yes to going. What's the point of going out with him if he loves Carly! I didn't even notice we were at the school until Freddie opened my door and helped me out.

"Thanks" I said and quickly walked into the school.

The first second we enterd into the school Carly dashed off to flirt with Griffen and Freddie and I were left akwardly alone.

"FOOD!" I screamed as I ran to the food table. There was fruits and cheeses, meats and deserts. I was in heaven. Freddie came over and also began to eat with me as we listened to the music.

"Hey Sam want to dance now" Freddie asked after a while.

"Sure" I replied.

This is a dance and I might as well have fun with Freddie even though he still loves Carly. Maybe he asked me here to make her jellous.

We find Carly and dance around crazily, having a blast. We continue to dance to a vareity of songs until a slow song starts.

"Would you, Samantha Puckett, dance with me?" Freddie asked me.

"Sure" I replied. I was so angry at him for asking me here. Every couple of seconds he stares at Carly and smiles. But as I keep saying I can't help but love him even if he doesn't love me.

I put my hands behind his neck and he puts his hands on my waist. We gently sway to the soft tune and I close my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4 fairytale

LATER THAT NIGHT

Sam's POV

I lay on Carly's couch with tingling lips, His voice kept replaying in my mind when he said those words 'I love you Samantha'

He said them even though he didn't mean them. Why is it that every boy I meet says those words to me and less than 3 weeks later they leave me for the beautiful princess Carly? They say that the more patient you are the better love will be and it's always just a fairytale love. That's why I lock up my heart and keep it hidden in the dark. The only reasons he could have for asking me out are could be trying to make Carly jellous or 2. he might love me because I'm the only girl who has loved him. Either way I'm sick of it. I wish he would stop sugar coating his words. It's like he is changing me into somone like Carly.

_Cinderella's on her bedroom floor_

_She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store_

_'Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore_

_And she forgets why she came here_

_Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood, for shame_

_She says, "None for you, dear prince, I'm tired today_

_I'd rather sleep my whole life away than have you_

_Keep me from dreaming"_

_I don't care for your fairytales_

_You're so worried 'bout the maiden though_

_You know she's only waiting on the next best thing_

_Snow White is doing dishes again_

_'Cause what else can you do With seven itty-bitty men?_

_Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend_

_Says, "Will you meet me at midnight?"_

_The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair_

_Says, "Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair,_

_I'll have to find another tower somewhere_

_And keep away from the windows"_

_Next best thing, yeah_

_Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom_

_Man made up a story, said that I should believe him_

_Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight_

_But I don't want the next best thing_

_So I sing and hold my head down_

_And I break these walls 'round me_

_Can't take no more of your fairytale love_

_I don't care for your fairytales_

_You're so worried 'bout the maiden though_

_You know she's only waiting..._

_Spent her whole life being graded on the sancity of patience_

_And a dumb appreciation_

_But the story needs some mending_

_And a better happy ending_

_'Cause I don't want the next best thing_

_No, no I don't want the next best thing_

…I just want Freddie.

I want him to love _me._

THE NEXT DAY BEFORE SCHOOL

Spencer came down stairs all dressed up and turned around in front of the mirror.

"Well hello good looking, did you know that you get better looking wih each day?" Spencer said to his reflection In the mirror as he flexed his invisible arm muscles.

"Umm…Spencer what are you doing?" I asked as I snickered at him.

"Whaaa!" Spencer screamed.

"Whaaa!" I screamed startled.

"What did you do that for? You gave me a heart atack! When did you get here?"

"I'm sorry, I spent the night"

"Oh, I don't know why I'm even surprised anymore." He said as he sat down next to me.

"Where are you going all dressed up anyway?" I asked curiously.

"See for yourself" Spencer reached in his pocket and retreved a small box. I gasped and snatched it out of his hands. I opened the box to find a diamond rind with a slender silver band.

"You are proposing?"

"Yep to Lauren"

"Wow, little spencie's getting ."

"Hey why are _you_ callin _me_ little? You're the sixteen year old and I'm the 26 year old. I gave him a doubting look.

"What?"

"You act like an eight year old about 99.9% of the time"

"Hey that rymed!" I rolled my eyes.

"You just proved my point. Anyway when are you going to pop the question?"

"Tonight at dinner"

"Good luck"


	5. Chapter 5 bottle it up

A/N: In case you were wondering where i was i was atempting sucide but was delayed. My major crush found out from some texts and made me change my mind. Later i found out he didn't really care about me and he only stopped me to make him look like a hero to my best friend. It hurt me deep and it only proved my moms point that no one will ever love me. My mom is not abusive and she takes good care of me but she doesn't _care_ about me. When i told her i have major anxiety attacks she just said that I was weak and pathetic and only wanted attenion. I hate her more then anything in the world. Well that is either than myself. Anyway just don't be harsh in the comments. I already had my friend read my story and she just said i was a freak and rolled her eyes.

THE NEXT WEEK

**Sam's POV**

"Hey angel" Freddie said as he walked toward me and Carly, by our lockers.

"Hey Fredchicken" I say and continue to talk to carly. Freddie waits till we are done and Carly walks away.

"So Cutie where are we going after school?"

"I seriously don't care." I reply.

"Oh" he says sadly and then walks off to class.

I sigh and open my locker to grab a few books. I notice a small card with a heart on it sticking out from under a fat cake. I smiled. I took the fat cake and opened the note that read…

_Dear Samantha,_

_Looks can catch the eye but everything else catches the heart_

_I love you and I never want to part,_

_Love is not graded by beauty but beauty is graded by love_

_Cupid is calling and every where I look I see a doves,_

_If you trip over love you can get up but if you fall over love you fall forever_

_througn time love just keeps getting better,_

_When ever I'm confused something always brings me to you,_

_I'm still trying to figure out if what I feel is real,_

_But only you can help me decide for it's you I want as my bride._

_Your true love forever,_

_Freddie_

"Ughhhh" I close my eyes and bang my head on my locker. He just kept sugar coating it. This is the kind of thing he does for Carly and I wouldn't mind it if it was for me but inside it seems like he is writing it for her.

_I do it for love_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_There'll be girls across the nation that will eat this up, babe_

_I know that it's your soul, but could you bottle it up_

_And get down to the heart of it, no it's my heart, you're shit out of your luck_

_Don't make me tell you again, my love, love, love, love_

_Love, love, love, love_

_I am aiming to be somebody that somebody trusts with her delicate soul _

_I don't claim to know much except soon as you start to make room for the parts_

_That aren't you, it gets harder to bloom in a garden of love, love, love, love_

_Love, love, love, love_

_Only thing I ever could need_

_Only thing worth trying to be and it's_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_I do it for love_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_We can understand the sentiment you're saying to us, oh_

_But sensible sells, so could you kindly shut up and get started_

_At keeping your part of the bargain, aw please little darlin'_

_You're killing me sweetly with love, love, love, love_

_Love, love, love, love_

_Started as a flicker, meant to be a flame_

_Skin has gotten thicker, but it burns the same_

_Still a baby in a cradle, got to take my first fall_

_Baby's getting next to nowhere with a back against the wall_

_You meant to make me happy, make me sad_

_Want to make it better, better so bad_

_But save your resolutions for your never new year_

_There is only one solution I can see here_

_Love, you're all I ever could need_

_Only one good thing worth trying to be and it's_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_I do it for love_

_Love_

_Love_

_Love_

_Oh, only gonna get get what you give away, so give love, love_

_Only gonna get get what you give away_

_Love…_


	6. Chapter 6 come round soon

DAYS LATER

Freddie is so angry he hasn't talked to me since the thinks I'm really stupid or insane or something. But he caused it. I had just walked into the cafeiteria and all the open seats were either around people I would never sit around or they are around people who would never sit by me. I couldn't sit by Carly because she was sitting by Freddie and Freddie is so angry I don't know what he would do if I sat down next to him.

But I did anyway. Even if he didn't love me I love him and he was my best friend. I don't know what I would without him.

"Hey Carly. Hey Freddie." I said as I bravely sat down.

"Hey Sam" Carly said and not in her usual Carly joyfullness. Aparently she couldn't decide who's side she should be on. It only made it more akward.

"Freddie please talk to me. Please, I don't know what I'd do without you as at least my friend." My voice cracked and I felt something caught in my throat as I said this. Everyone at the table noticed this.

"You can be such a retard sometimes." He said. That was the first thing he said to me?

"Well, it's not like you haven't made me act like this!" I snapped back. Now we had atractted attention from other tables as well.

"What is your problem?" he asked. I hate this. I can feel a bad fight coming on in the middle of the cafeteria.

"What's _my _problem?" I said getting even more angry. "You are the one that freaked out and won't talk to me. You are the one that made me act like such a bitch to people!" I screamed.

"Of course I freaked out and didn't talk to you! What did you expect!"

"I expected some understanding and time to explain without being yelled at or ignored!" I was starting to get teary. "I mean if you love me like you said you did you would understand and give me a chance." Wendy whispered something in my ear. "He doesn't deserve you" she said.

We were silent for a while. Everyone was silent in the whole cafeteria and Freddie and I realised how loud we were.

"Do you even realise how much you mean to me?" Freddie asked breaking the terrible silence.

"Do you?" I asked. I was going to tell him. Right here in the cafeteria. I was going to tell Freddie I love him. "Freddie I really care about you" Was that the best I could do? I really care about you? I'm pathetic.

"Sam I care about you to and that's why I was angry. I didn't think you realised how much you mean to me. If anything happened to you I don't know what I'd do." He whispered to me so quietly I don't think even Carly could hear. I felt my heart flutter. Maybe he really did care about me.

We met on a rainy evening in the summertime

_I Don't think I need to tell you more_

_I needed a raise, I worked so hard _

_for this love of mine, Love of mine_

_But I've got nothing to show for it_

_Heres a simplification of everything we're going through_

_Oh oh_

_You plus me is bad news_

_But you're a lovely creation, I like to think that I am too_

_But my friends said I looked better without you_

_And tounge tied and twisted_

_Go on, Baby go to my head_

_Baby, baby, believe me_

_If I stay, it ain't going to be easy_

_Okay, we'll do it your way_

_But this is the last time_

_You'll hear the beautiful sound_

_Of love coming down_

_Love on the rocks_

_You love for the chase but hate me for the run around_

_Were both just tired of the whole thing_

_And you tell me what you want, you need_

_you know, you have to have_

_And I just pretend I'm listening_

_And to tired this time_

_To deal with old suits you wear_

_Your ties that won't bind_

_Baby, baby, believe me_

_If I stay, it ain't going to be easy_

_Okay, we'll do it your way_

_But this is the last time_

_You'll hear the beautiful sound_

_Of love coming down_

_Hot as hell, cold as ice_

_Sip it slow, cause it's so nice_

_Dulls my senses, drives my pain_

_But I do it again_

_Burns a bit to the touch_

_Dangerous if it's to musch_

_If this bottle could talk_

_Love on the rocks_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby believe me_

_If I stay, it ain't going to be easy_

_Okay, we'll do it your way_

_But this is the last time_

_You'll hear the beautiful sound_

_Of love coming down_

_Love on the rocks_

"I didn't realise." I said. "Freddie I'll give us one more chance. Let's not screw it up." I said as I smiled. He smiled back.

"I won't. I promise" Freddie said. Then he did something I didn't expect. He kissed me. For the second time. In the middle of the cafeteria with Carly watching. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. It was magical.

"I love you Sam. I mean I am really in love with you."

"Mmmhhhmmm" was the only aknowledgement I made as we countinued kissing.

"Guys seriously! Not in front of me." Carly said. We all laughed. I had never been this happy.


End file.
